


maybe we bleed all our lives (Mentori remix)

by sebfish



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Dallas Stars, M/M, Remix, Soul Bond
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-05
Updated: 2019-04-05
Packaged: 2020-01-05 02:42:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18356972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sebfish/pseuds/sebfish
Summary: I’m not going anywhere, he wants to say, but he’s not sure if that’s right.“Stay here tonight,” he says instead.“Okay,” Julius says, smiling, but Miro can feel the bitterness underneath, seeping like storm water into a cellar.





	maybe we bleed all our lives (Mentori remix)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [silkstocking](https://archiveofourown.org/users/silkstocking/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Mentori](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17198855) by [silkstocking](https://archiveofourown.org/users/silkstocking/pseuds/silkstocking). 



> I hope this does the original story justice, I had a lot of fun writing this. Any dialogue that looks familiar was borrowed from Mentori. 
> 
> Title from the poem by Finn Butler which sadly appears to be lost to the internet. 
> 
> No harm is meant by this, if you found this by searching for yourself or someone you know, please turn back.

It’s easy to get overwhelmed by everything in America, even now a few months in when he feels like he mostly has his feet under him. Everything is so much bigger and faster and brighter than he’s used to, and even if he’s slowly getting used to it it’s still a lot.

There were a lot of thing he wasn’t expecting: the heat, the sheer size of everything, how well he’d fit in with his new teammates, and the fact that he’s playing in the NHL now, not just working his way up from the minors like he’d expected.

Julius Honka was a surprise too, and maybe he hadn’t expected to find his soul mate at eighteen in a brand new place, but he can’t say that he minds too much.

It wasn’t the first time he’d met Julius, but it was the first time that mattered, maybe, because he’d met Julius’s eyes across the room on the first day of training camp, and he just knew, somehow.

It wasn’t shocking like lightning or breathtaking like the earth moving, but something soft and gentle and sure like a heartbeat. He just knew, somehow, and then he’d crossed the room and pulled Julius into a hug, not even thinking.

He’d felt the spark of connection, then, as soon as they touched, and it wasn’t so much like gaining something new as it was like finding something that was always supposed to be there.

Julius had grinned at him after, shaky but bright and excited, and that had been better than he’d ever expected.

“We’re going to be great here,” he’d said, and Miro had believed him.

 

 

 

“Hey Julle,” he says, throwing his coat on the chair. “Did you have a good evening?”

“It was fine,” Julius says, and Miro can taste the lie, even beyond the way he’s sprawled tensely across the bed, focused on his phone.  

It’s easier to ignore his mood than try to poke him further, because he’ll either come out of it or he won’t and there’s only so much he can do to change things.

Miro wouldn’t even know, he thinks, except for the sticky thin film of sadness overlaying the bond in his mind, the little corner of his mind that inexplicably feels like Julius that gets clearer when he focuses on it and fades out into a comforting background hum when he doesn’t.

Julius is so good at pretending, Miro’s come to realize, and he would never have known if he hadn’t had him in his mind like this.

He hangs out with them like nothing’s wrong, joking with Esa and hanging out with Roope and coming home with Miro, sometimes.

He plays his heart out, like he’s happy to be there no matter what anyone else says, and it’s hard to see some times how much he wants it, how much the throb of his heart says _yes, this_ , how much like all of them he lives and breathes hockey.

He touches Miro like he wants him, like it’s good for him too, and sometimes after when they’re curled together, warm and spent, he just feels warm and content through the bond.

This is nothing he ever expected to have, but he’d do anything now to be able to keep it.

 

 

 

It’s probably too obvious how much Miro likes Julius, clear through the bond even if it wasn’t already obvious, and it’s embarrassing but for the warmth he gets back from Julius in return.

Maybe it would’ve been easier if they were just teammates hooking up, if he could’ve pretended that this was just hero worship and the embarrassing kind of crush that he’d feel mortified about for a few months and gradually get over. It would’ve been easier if Julius wasn’t on the other end of it, if there was any way that he could keep his feelings from spilling over into the bond like they do.

It’s easier and worse like this, because he can’t hide anything and sometimes he doesn’t want to, and whatever Julius thinks about it, all he gets back is fondness and warmth.

The feedback from fucking gets so intense sometimes, the sharpness of arousal and the feeling of his dick pressed up against Julius’s, and the feeling of Julius’s arousal pinging warm through the bond until he can hardly tell what’s his and what’s Julius’s until it overwhelms him and he’s coming, hard and overwhelming like it’s never been by himself.

It feels dragged out with the weird overlaid sensation of Julius coming, his dick twitching against Miro’s hip as he spills out come.

He’s had sex before but not like this, where it’s so much that just rubbing against each other, skin on skin, is so much better than anything else he’s done.

 “Kiss me,” he says, high on adrenaline after a game, feeling warm and revved up.

Julius rolls his eyes but complies, leans up to meet his lips in a wet soft press.

His mouth is warm and wet and good, tasting a little like Gatorade. It’s so easy to get him out of his clothes and into bed, to press against him desperately in the sweat slick rub of Julius’s cock against his, shoved up against each other as close as they could get.

Julius could get closer, Miro thinks, and comes with the thought of what it would feel like to have Julius pushing inside of him, inside his soul and his mind and his body.

“Hey,” he says afterward, when Julius is wrapped around him, always so clingy, and he feels the pulse of something that feels like _mine mine mine_ through the bond.

_I’m not going anywhere,_ he wants to say, but he’s not sure if that’s right.

“Stay here tonight,” he says instead.

“Okay,” Julius says, smiling, but he can feel the bitterness underneath, seeping like storm water into a cellar.

He doesn’t know how to fix this, how to tell Julius that he knows in his bones that they’re going to make it out okay.

 

 

 

“Has anyone ever eaten you out?” Julius had asked, and that was enough to make his brain stutter stop and lose track of what he was saying.

No, he’d said, but Julius had already known the truth of it and grinned, the warmth of arousal zinging through their bond.

It was the best kind of devastating, new and overwhelming, but this might be better.

“Julle,” he pants, rocking against the fingers inside him, pushing him open and lighting him up inside. He knows where this is going and he wants it so much. This isn’t new, so much, but the idea that it’s leading to something more is.

“Shh,” Julius says, rocking his fingers in counterpoint, and it’s so good that he could come just like this, but he doesn’t want to yet.

“Please, come on,” he says instead, and Julius is shushing him and pulling out his fingers and he whimpers, feeling strung out and exposed. He can feel warmth and arousal from the bond, and that’s just as overwhelming.

Julius shifts then, moving up to cover him and press a kiss against the back of his neck, then pressing the blunt head of his cock against Miro’s hole.

He pushes in slowly and the stretch is almost too much.

He thinks he can almost feel the echo of how it feels from Julius’s end, tight heat that’s almost as overwhelming, and it’s so much with everything he’s feeling from the bond, emotion and arousal and desperation painting over the whole of it.

“Please,” he says again, and Julius complies this time, rocking his hips a little, and it’s enough to push the air out of his lungs.

Julius fucks him with slow careful strokes, and it’s as much as he can do to just feel it. He gets his hand on his dick, eventually, and he’s so much closer than he would’ve expected.

It takes only a little longer before he’s coming, feeling like it’s pulled out of him, and then he can feel as Julius comes inside him, shoving in deep and holding him tight.

“Stay,” he says quietly, after Julius pulls out and collapses next to him.

Julius pulls him closer instead of answering.


End file.
